Headboards
by SpyotaT'Val
Summary: AU- C/J stranded on a planet (again) and Kathryn just has to ask a question.


AN: A question and a scenario popped in to my head one night and I just couldn't let it go! Here is the result. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own STV or it's characters, I just like to recreate their lives in my head.

He gazed into steely blue eyes, they were soft, alight with curiosity and hope. He had thought himself prepared for any question. How could he have failed to prepare himself for this one?

"Are we in love?"

Chakotay steeled himself. He had buried the initial distress he felt when he had realized that the shuttle crash and subsequent head injury had left his Captain without memory of who she was or the crew she was obligated to return home. -Apparently it hadn't been enough.

"Are we in love?"

The question hung in the air charging the atmosphere. Kathryn's hand rested softly upon his rendering him motionless. His latest building endeavor halted beneath his hands. Headboards. He was building headboards, because they had been here before, stranded, just the two of them. Except this time around he was the only one who remembered and he had hadn't been careful.

Captain and Commander. That's what he had told her they were. Superior and subordinate. But there was more, had to be by the feeling that started low in her belly and spread throughout her being when he touched her.

She had nightmares the first few weeks of their exile. Faces she couldn't name. Corridors that she had once walked religiously as foreign to her as the name he called her by. Death and destruction. It hadn't been the imagery that had disturbed her, it had been the overpowering weight of guilt that threatened to suffocate her. What had she done? What kind of captain had she been? What order had she given or failed to give that made these faces haunt her?

His hesitation had been apparent, for four nights he had watched her quietly sob. On the fifth he had wordlessly wrapped his arms around her, anchoring her.

It had seemed familiar, Chakotay's solid form surrounding her, the feel of his chest beneath her hand. She breathed him in, the scent of him bringing forth pleasant visions. Memories? She couldn't be sure. All she knew was that he centered her. Kathryn had awoken the next morning more rested than she had felt in…. She wanted to say weeks.

Kathryn had wanted to ask then, but he had avoided her busying himself with their makeshift shelter. Working with his hands focused him, helped to settle his thoughts. How did she know that? The brain was a funny thing. She didn't really know who she was, but she knew him.

"Are we in love?"

He couldn't walk away from her, she would never allow it. He couldn't lie to her, even in her current state she would know. What other choice did he have? Chakotay told the truth.

"No. We are not in love."

Kathryn fought to hide her confusion and… heartbreak? How could that be? Perhaps it had all been one sided. Was it she that was in love with him? Unrequited love of captain for her second in command? She wanted to scoff at the idea, couldn't bring herself to be believe that she was that kind of person. A person who pines after people. No. That couldn't be her.- She freed his hand preparing to move a way.

"Forgive me, Chakotay. I didn't mean to make you uncom-" Chakotay reclaimed her hand, interrupting her.

"I said we are not in love." Quite suddenly Kathryn felt a flush of anger. "There's no need to clarify, _Commander._ I understand-"

"I said that we aren't in love," He repeated again. "I didn't say that I don't love you."

Kathryn finally scoffed. "There's no need to insult me, Commander. I love coffee, but it clearly isn't the same."

Chakotay ducked his head trying to hide the small smile that had betrayed him. "Coffee. You compare this to coffee?"

"I compare most things to coffee." Kathryn snorted, not bothering to speculate how in the midst of everything, she had managed to remember that bit of information. She mentally reprimanded herself for even broaching the subject. She wanted to get away and shake off the embarrassment, but he refused to relinquish control of her hand. He watched the fire in her eyes, a heat that would melt down a Kazon Maj in a moment. Her hair fell softly around her shoulders, it had grown longer since being on the planet. He always loved her hair long.

Reaching out his other hand he twirled a strand between his fingers. Kathryn froze. "I love the way the sun reflects from your hair." He said softly. "I love the way you challenge me. I love your no nonsense attitude. I love the way you wrap your hands around a fresh cup of coffee like a life line, close your eyes and sigh after the first sip. There are many other things I could list, but I could never finish, because I would always find more."

Kathryn wasn't getting enough air. Exhaling, she noticed that he had managed to close the gap between

them.

"I said we aren't in love because that is the truth. We couldn't be in love. There were parameters- boundaries that we couldn't- wouldn't allow ourselves to cross."

She looked into his eyes, processing what he was saying. Her gaze drifted across the colored lines above his brow down to his mouth. "Were?" She inquired.

"Kathryn?"

"You said there _'were'_ parameters and boundaries."

"I think after three months without contact from Voyager, they may have started to blur." She raises her free hand and places it on his chest. Where once this gesture would have been a deterrent or even a comfort, in this instance it felt like an encouragement. Chakotay wraps an arm around her waist pulling her against him. He releases her trapped hand and places his along the side of her face tilting it towards him.

The kiss is slow and sweet like the first drag of of lemonade on a hot summers day. A curious memory floats to the forefront of Kathryn's mind.

"Headboards." She murmurs against his lips breaking into a crooked grin. Chakotay pulled slightly away to see the amusement and a hint of something…. Flirtatious? In her eyes. "Why is it that every time we are stranded on a planet you make headboards?"

Chakotay ducks his head sheepishly. "You like to read in bed….."

"But I have nothing to read, this time." She wasn't entirely sure how, but his skin darkens. Kathryn waits a beat, taking his face in her hands. "I guess we will have to find another use for them."

Fin!

AN: This is my first published Fanfic and any and all reviews would greatly be appreciated. It's been a while since I have been in the writing game, but I am itching to jump back in! Thanks all!


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